Uripides

Living like A Normal Human Being Part I of II

Sorry for the long delay in between posts but it’s been a very busy 2 weeks. Since May 30th we’ve had the new floors installed and laid the marble entry. We’ve finished painting every room in the house and laid carpet in one of the guest rooms. We’ve also purchased the Granite tile countertops and Travertine backsplash tiles.

Now, for the story behind all the work that’s been done. Last Friday, after the floors had been up for one week, we scheduled the flooring people to come out that Saturday. So, I knew I had to clean out the garage because it was full of old sheetrock and laminate flooring. I took Friday off and decided to hire some day labors to help me move all the crap in the garage to the local dump.

Keep in mind I’ve never hired day labors but I have a friend who has lots of experience with this sort of hiring process. So, I called him and ask for his opinion, which usually consists of “Dude, come on its easy don’t be such a pussy. Go get you some MESICANSS and get’er done”. So, after the encouragement I decided to rent a trailer and go to the local Home Depot (HD) and see what I could get for 8/hr.

I must have smelled like work because as I drove up HD they spotted me like a two dollar whore on 5th avenue window shopping at Gucci! As soon as I hit the parking lot they started running towards my truck. Seriously, I felt like the ice cream man, ya know when all the kids would come running up to the truck! Anyways, as I tried to step out of my truck there were literally 20 guys crowding me saying “what you need, what you need?” I was like “Yo, STEP BACK! STEP BACK!…ocho dólares que una hora de acarrear basura!” what did I just say? Excuse me? Oh yes, I spoke Spanish and I spoke it well!!!

Anyways, as soon as I said that many we’re trying to get me to come up to 9 an hour but I was hell no, all you’re going to be doing is hauling trash. Come on! What was interesting was these two kids, I say kids but they were like 20, dressed fairly nice, ear rings in their ears, semi nice shirts, and designer jeans were like we’ll do it we’ll do it. But something told me that they wouldn’t work very hard. They didn’t have that desperation in their eye to work. Know what I mean? How hard are they willing to work in their nice clothes?

Suddenly I noticed this quiet man in the back of the crowd saying I’ll do it for 8. Boom! That’s all I needed to hear and I said you! There, you come with me. As I said that he started to point to the guy next to him saying “mi amigo, mi amigo tambien!” and I said to his friend “ocho dólares que una hora” and he said si si! Ok you two! Let’s go! As we started to pile in the car the crowd began to quickly disperse much quicker than I would have thought to be normal, when all of a sudden a sheriff drives up on a golf cart.

The first thing I thought was Oh shit! I’m busted!

But he just asked me if this was my car and I said yes and he said “Well I’m not trying to stop anyone from working but it’s illegal to hire people on HD property. You can’t do that here.” “Oh” I said, “I’m really sorry. I’ll just leave then.” “Ok” he said and I got into my car and looked at my two new employees and point to the curb just down from where I was parked. I started to drive towards the curb when I noticed 4 guys were running to my car. Two of them being the ones I picked out and two others. I rolled down my window and was like no, not you, NO MAS, NO MAS! Culado!

Next thing I know I’m driving to my house with two Mexicans in my car!! SWEET! I told them that if they worked hard I’d buy them lunch and pay them well. They worked hard so I bought them lunch. We, I mean me, actually had a good time. I tried my best to speak Spanish to them and we came up with a term called escoba loco, the crazy broom. I was looking for my broom but didn’t know where it was so I asked them how to say broom in Spanish. They told me and then I was the joke for the rest of the day.

And to my utter surprise it only took us 3 hours to completely clean out my garage and dump the trash!

Random Link of the Day

Billy, what are you doing!?